He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I could make wine with my vomit
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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