Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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