so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
