Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
