Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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