i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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