Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize