There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
