I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
