Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
