last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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