I need help removing her.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Randomize
