She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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