I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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