Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Randomize
