We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
whose parrot is this?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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