blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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