What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
