Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
