Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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