I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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