So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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