he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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