One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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