Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
