I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
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Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor