All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
