I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
