I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I love you.
Bad choice
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
