That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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