is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
