Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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