I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
