apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
