i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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