is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
