is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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