Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
