I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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