just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
