Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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