look no pants
I want to make a zoo with you.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
