Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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