It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
smell my finger.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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