you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you never un-have a 4some
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
