you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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