You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
