Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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