remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
