well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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