I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
