I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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