why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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