So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
