So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize