Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
