When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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