hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
