Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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