just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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