I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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