eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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