You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
