trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I AM VODKA MAN
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
