I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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