I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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