My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
