Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
