There was a lot of him and a little penis
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's get the cat blown out
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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