i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's shark week go big or go home
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
