i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
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