do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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