i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
