Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
