How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
